HorseArt Stable: [link]
A Guide to the Forest: [link]
Alternate Universe Information: [link]


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You know the feeling I'm talking about. The one where you know that no matter what, you can't do anything about it. You have to just sit there and watch as something you don't want to happen happens.

On June 3rd I will be giving out Life. The Life ceremony is part of my youth group, BBYO, in which all of the seniors take the time to talk to the rest of the kids and tell them how much they mean to them, and give away all of the things that they have collected over the years pertaining to the youth group. Its a very beautiful thing. I don't know if there will be another time in my life where when I say goodbye to somebody, I will be able to say "I will always remember you because of this one time when you did this, and this thing here reminds me of that because..." Well, maybe not that exact sentence. But you get it. Giving out Life is not about giving your things away, it is about saying goodbye and telling people how much they mean to you.

For three years I have watched as the seniors of my youth group have given out life. For three years I have been called up, given a momentum, and have been told that I will always be remembered. This year, it is me who gets up in front of everybody and talks about my Life in BBYO, and gives things to other younger members, and tells them that they will always be remembered.

I don't want to leave. I feel like I might vomit. I feel that overwhelming sense of defeat that you feel only when you know you can't do anything about what is about to happen.

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